Keeping up with the Big Dogs

Have you ever attempted to seem really cool and with it and then realized that it is beyond your power to be in control of such a feat? No, just me? You’re all really cool suave people? Well ok then!

I have come to a point in my life where I can admit the fact that I am not cool. No, don’t worry, I am ok with this. I can honestly say I hit my peak in the 5th grade. Yes, I was 10. But! I was a very cool ten year old. I was in 5th grade, I ruled the school, ate lunch with girls AND boys, and even had a couple co-ed birthday parties. Big times for me. Big.

However, it was downhill from there. My awkward ability to embarrass myself led to countless memories of tripping in front of the pretty crowd, spilling on myself in the cafeteria line, and shamelessly running around at recess despite how unflattering it may have been.

Now, as a 21 year old mature (?) college student about to embark upon “real life” and “adulthood”, I have fully embraced my inability to seem “cool”. I ride my red razor scooter around campus because it is simply put, practical. I wear my backpack too high and clothes that aren’t in fashion. And, I am also shameless with my personal interactions with others, and because of that, I have lost all ability to feel embarrassment or understand “an awkward situation”.

This lack of coolness was only further demonstrated when I took a trip to a lovely lake with a few of my friends. Now everyone knows when you go on a boating trip you must wear a cute bathing suit, pretend to “lounge” nonchalantly (but really be focused on the position your body is making), and laugh and flip your hair when the boys say something funny. Not for me though.

I don’t know if it was the massive coffee I drank that morning… (my Mom says I should never drink any caffeine because my energy level is so high, that when I do I become clinically insane. Thanks Ma, love you too) Or perhaps it was the fact that I hadn’t been out on a boat in a very long time, but I threw caution to the wind.

I adorned my child’s sized life jacket, jumped on  that wakeboard, and began what was about to be the most disgraceful and ungraceful attempt at looking cool they had ever seen. “1, 2, Go”, her Dad would count off as I sat in the water waiting for my wake boarding experience to begin. And 1, 2, 3 down I would go. Again? Sure! Why, not? 1, 2, 3, down. Again and again and again.

So why am I writing a piece completely discrediting myself as someone you should listen to for advice and opinions? It is for this reason: if college has taught me nothing at all (it has, don’t worry), it has taught me that we must all be proud of who we are. Whether the coolest of cool or the most unabashed of them all. It is about growing, learning, and experiencing in our own unique ways and loving every minute of it. In four years I  have learned that I am who I am and who I am is a slightly crazed, overly enthusiastic, down right cheerful girl with the imagination and enthusiasm for life of a 5 year old child. To UCLA and it’s teaching me to be me!

PS: A weekend trip away from school is always a good idea!